How dogs are better than...
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THEN WOMEN
1. Dogs don't cry
2. Dogs love it when your friends come over
3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
4. Dogs think you sing great
5. A dog's time in bathroom is confined to a quick drink
6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late
7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you
8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
10. Dogs are excited by rough play
11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
12. Dogs love red meet
13. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
14. Anyone can get a good-looking dog
15. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
16. Dogs don't shop
17. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
18. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
19. Dogs never need to examine relationship
20. A dog's parents never visit
21. Dogs love long car trips
22. Dogs understand that instincts are better then asking for directions
23. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be
hunted
24. When a dog gets old and start to snap at you incessantly you can shoot
it
25. Dogs like beer
26. Dogs don't hate their bodies
27. Dogs never criticise
28. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
29. Dogs never expect gifts
30. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house
31. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their live
32. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner then a lobster
one
33. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day
34. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewellery
35. Dogs don't borrow your shirts
36. Dogs never want foot-rubs
37. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public
38. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk
39. Dogs can't talk
40. Dogs aren't catty
41. Dogs seldom outlive you
HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE
1. Both look stupid in hats
2. Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting
3. Neither understands football
4. Both look good in a fur coat
5. Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say
6. Neither believes that silence is golden
7. Both constantly want back rubs
8. Neither can balance a chequebook
9. You can never tell what either of them is thinking
10. Both put too much value on kissing
HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THEN DOGS
1. It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman
2. Women look good in sweaters
Ian Pash 11/13/1998Categories: Slightly Smutty