Moral lessons
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to
tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids
came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat
of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying
and broke and made a mess"
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"
"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.
We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live
chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until
they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob
was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail out over
enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and
machete.
He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he
landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them
with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty
more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten
with his bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
Ben Blaney 05/27/1999Categories: Slightly Smutty