Bugs
EXPERTS WARN OF THREAT FROM 100GB BUG
Firebringer News Service (FBNS) - Experts warned today of a new and deadly
threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of
hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at 99 billion
burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or even weeks, that number
will roll over to 100GB.
McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of
selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the
signs have only two decimal places.
This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's
signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will
convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers
have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse of consumer
confidence in McDonald's products.
The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force
the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push the
teetering American economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete the
total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization as we know it,
and forcing us all to live on beetles.
"The people who know-the sign-makers-are really scared of 100GB," one expert
said. "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy of THE FIELD GUIDE
TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for the hills."
Ian Pash 12/21/1998Categories: Slightly Smutty