Notre Dame's staff problems
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent
word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.
The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up
into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several
applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a
lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply
for the bell ringers job.
The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!"
"No matter," said the man, "Observe!"
He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful
melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced
that he had Finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly,
rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged
headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd
had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they
had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop
through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?''
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a
bell."
(but wait, there's more...)
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart
due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist (now there's a
trivia question), the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer
of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, "Your excellency, I am
the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very
belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in
this duty."
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man's
brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell he groaned,
clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the
bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to
his side.
"What has happened?", the first breathlessly asked, "Who is this man?"
[Wait for it...]
"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead
ringer for his brother."
Ben Blaney 03/05/1999Categories: Slightly Smutty