Lawyers
A lawyer was getting married to a woman who had previously been married seven times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I'm still a virgin."
This puzzled the lawyer, since after seven marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon. She responded: "My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent the entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to be but never delivered.
"My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised he would send me documentation.
"My third husband was from Educational Services, and you know the old saying - 'Those who CAN, DO; those who can't, teach.'
"My fourth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
"My fifth husband was a Marketing Manager. Even though he had the product. He just wasn't sure how to position it.
"My sixth husband was a psychiatrist. All he ever wanted to do was talk about it.
"My seventh husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was... well... God I miss him!"
She finally smiled and turned to him. "So now I've married you, and I'm really excited."
"Why is that?" asked the lawyer.
"Well, it should be obvious! You're a lawyer! I just know I'm going to get fucked!"
Simon Ratcliffe 11/27/1998Categories: Slightly Smutty