It's not funny

Joke

The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country;
The Times is read by the people who run the country;
The Telegraph is read by the people who think they run the country;
The Guardian is read by people who think they should run the country;
The Independant is read by people who don't know who runs the country but think it should be someone else;
The Morning Star is read by people who think the country should be run by another country;
The Express is read by people who think the country should be run like it was run before;
The Sun is read by people who don't care who runs the country so long as she has got big tits.
DEEP THOUGHTS by Dennis Miller

Don't sweat the petty things and Don't pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was; she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide....is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Would a wingless fly be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?

Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?

Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?

Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?



A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six
double vodkas."
The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same
drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came
back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six
double vodkas.
The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."


Antoinette Buzugbe 08/27/1998Categories: Slightly Smutty



Jade Cat Ltd.