It's not funny

Drunken Bastard

Top signs you're a drunken bastard:
a.. You frequently urinate outdoors.
b.. You believe that spilling a beer is Alcohol abuse.
c.. You go to the bog to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
d.. You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center
e.. You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet,
and you are so dry that it sounds mighty thrist quenching.
f.. You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.
g.. You mix your coctails by the liter.
h.. You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic zen like
piss.
i.. You explain to your bank manager that you speant your overdraft
"mainly on beer and women; the rest I just wasted".
j.. You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect.
k.. You wake up the night after a party to put your clothes on and
there aren't any.
l.. You find yourself saying "Honesly occifer I only hads tree bears
tonight!" while sniggering at his funny hat.


Ben Blaney 05/27/1999Categories: Slightly Smutty



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