It's not funny

Football Quotes

FOOTBALL QUOTES
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"He left the same way he arrived - fired with enthusiasm".
Joe Lovejoy of the Sunday Times on the sacking of Graham Taylor
as England Manager.
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"England have not won a game for three months. The fact that we
have not played one is irrelevant.Graham Taylor should hang, and so
should his successor". Item in Viz, September, 1993.
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"The only mates he had in all his time at Liverpool were straight out
of the vending machine" Tommy Smith on Emlyn Hughes.
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"A million wouldn't buy him, and I'd be one of them" Bill Shankley.
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"There's the African defender doing the spadework for his team-mates"
John Motson.
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"I used to go missing a lot - Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom,
Miss Germany" George Best.
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"The symbol of peace....the pigeon!" RTE's Jimmy Magee at the 1982
World Cup finals opening ceremony.
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"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain
off!" RTE's George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's
substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with
Ireland in Seville, 1992.
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"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and
flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things
up and give the team some brains and some common sense"
Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991.
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"Ach, not the Dutch again You are all assholes anyway and Adolf
should have gotten rid of you".
Lothar Mattaus after being cornered by a Dutch TV camera crew at
Bayern Munich's training ground in 1994.
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"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams"
Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed
with mild schizophrenia.
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"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash
to buy some new ones" Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before
LC QF, 1992.
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"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million
for
a guy to hang around in defence" NY Cosmos executive, on
Beckenbauer's positioning.
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"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest
I just squandered" George Best.
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"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent"
Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.
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"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on"
John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed
striker
did not know who he was.
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"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area
for
goalies is between their legs". Andy Gray, Sky Sport.
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Richard Keys : Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish
above Manchester United to win the league ?
Roy Evans: You have to finish above everyone to win the league
Richard.
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"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the
kitchen" Terry Venables, Capital Gold.
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"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday" -
Radio 5 Live.
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"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money"
(Newcastle United Fan, Radio 5 Live).
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"I'm not a believer in luck but I do believe you need it" Alan
Ball.
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"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's
won't be any different" Trevor Brooking.
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"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut
forehead" Tom Ferrie.
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"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley unless
somebody knocks us out" Dave Bassett.
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"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few
seconds"
Peter Jones.
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"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get
the ball they are attacking their opponents goal" Jimmy Hill.
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"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins"
Brian Moore.
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"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the
air for even longer" David Acfield.
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"What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the
radio" Gerry Francis.
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"John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday" New York Post (1993).
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"If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated
footballers" Mick Lyons.
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"He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head"
Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland (1994).
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"The crowd think that Todd handled the ball they must have seen
something that nobody else did" Barry Davies (1975).
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"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel"
Stuart Pearce (1992).
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Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you
Think Germany has got of getting through?"
Terry Venables: "I think it's fifty - fifty".
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"There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch"
Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39.
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"Manchester United take more in programme sales than we take on
the gate" Lawrie McMenemy, Southampton.
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"If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't
swim" Berti Vogts, Germany coach.
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"You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey"
Arrigo Sacchi, Italy coach, defending a meagre playing record.
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"Love is good for footballers, as long as it is not at half-time"
Richard Moller Nielsen, Denmark coach.
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"I was about to say, before something far more interesting
interrupted me" John Motson, France v Bulgaria.
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"Why didn't you just belt it son?" Gareth Southgate's mother
reflects publicly on her son's penalty miss.
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"The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out
and take us all to EuroDisney" Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon.
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"I was shocked when I was first introduced to the fans because
they brought out a sheep, cut its head off and then smeared blood over
my forehead" Manchester United's Ronnie Johnsen on life with Besiktas,
Turkey.
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"If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it
twice as hard for them" Wendy Toms, the first female referee to
officiate in a professional game.
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"The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is
nil (32 degrees) and the entertainment value is not much above nil"
Sunderland v Leicester, Radio 5 Live.
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"I think having Wasps around here as well gives us that little
buzz around the place" Ray Wilkins on the QPR-Wasps groundshare.
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"This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players"
praise for the Under-21s from Javier Clemente, Spain's coach.
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"There are some great defenders here, I just don't know their
names"
David Ginola of Newcastle and France.
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"It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up" Ian Wright on the
Arsenal captain's confession to alcoholism.
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"It's sod's law. Now I've got time to improve my golf it's the
wrong time of year" Howard Wilkinson when sacked by Leeds.
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"I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got
plenty of help" Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge.
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"The referee was booking everyone. I thought he was filling in his
lottery numbers" Ian Wright.


Ben Blaney 03/31/1999Categories: Slightly Smutty



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