Irish Jigsaw
Seamus rings Sean on a Friday evening.
"Sean, are you coming out for a pint?"
"Ah, Seamus. I wish I could, but I'm doing a jigsaw dis evening."
Seamus is a bit taken aback, but rallies well. "OK, Sean. We'll be raising a pint to you and your jigsaw tonight. I'll see you tomorrow den."
Saturday lunchtime comes around, and Seamus is feeling a little thirsty again, so he gives Sean another ring.
"Sean, are you coming out for a pint?"
"Ah, Seamus. I wish I could, but I haven't finished me jigsaw yet."
"You haven't finished? Well get a move on fella, de weekend is nearly half done. De Guinness has never tasted so good, and dere's a few wid your name on down de pub."
"Well, Seamus. I'll see if I can't get it done for dis evening den. I am getting a wee bit thirsty meself," says Sean.
Come Saturday evening, Seamus rings Sean again.
"Have you finished it yet?"
"Ah, Seamus. Well, to tell you de truth, I'm having a wee bit o' trouble wid it," says Sean.
"What's de problem den Sean? I'm here to help you know," says Seamus.
"Well, you see, it's one of dose jigsaws wid all the bits de same shape, and I'm having a bit of difficulty getting started you see," says Sean.
"Well if it's dat hard fella, why not just leave it and come out for a Guinness?" says Seamus.
"Ah, Seamus. My wife is away for de weekend, and I want to get it finished for when she comes back on Sunday night. I don't tink I can spare de time to come down de pub wid you tonight."
"OK den, I'll give you a call tomorrow," says Seamus.
Sunday lunchtime, and the Guinness is calling to Seamus, so he rings Sean to see how he is getting on.
"Are ye done yet, fella? Fancy a Guinness?"
"Ah, Seamus. I'm tearing me hair out here. I've never seen a jigsaw dis hard before, and dat's de truth, now."
"OK den. Let's see. Is dere a box wid de picture on de front?"
"Yes, Seamus. I have it here."
"What's de picture of, Sean?"
"It's a cockerel, Seamus."
"A cockerel, Sean? Well dat doesn't sound too hard. Look, if you're not done by tonight I'll come round and give you a hand finishing it. See you later. I'm off down de pub for lunch."
Sunday evening rolls around, and no word from Sean, so Seamus walks around the corner and knocks on the door.
"Sean, are you done yet? Fancy a Guinness?" says Seamus.
"Ah, Seamus. I'm dat glad to see you. No I haven't, but come along in and give us a hand," says Sean.
So Seamus walks into the kitchen, and he sees what's on the table.
There is a short pause.
"Sean?"
"Yes, Seamus?"
"Put de cornflakes back in de box, and come down de pub."
Leo Green 08/25/1999Categories: Slightly Smutty