*** Carlisle Man Loses Out To Mr Muscle ***
The Advertising Standards Commission has rejected a complaint lodged by Bob Weller of Carlisle against Beechams Pharmaceuticals regarding claims made on the packaging of their 'Mr Muscle' product.
Kitchen and bathroom cleaner Mr Muscle 'Loves The Jobs You Hate', according to Beechams, but Mr Weller says that this is just not the case.
"I took a bottle of Mr Muscle into the office where I work as a chartered accountant on a day when I had some particularly tedious jobs lined up. Firstly, I'd been asked to prepare a quarterly sales
summary for an exporter of live animals in Ramsgate. I expected this to take most of the morning, so I sprayed the keyboard of my computer with a liberal coating of Mr Muscle and went to the toilet where
I slept until 11.30," explained Mr Weller.
"Compiling quarterly summaries for large companies is one of the worst things about my job, I hate it in fact, so I'd expected Mr Muscle to have done a great job. I was astonished when I returned to my
desk and discovered that he hadn't even started!" he said.
"That afternoon I was scheduled to interview graduates for a junior position with the firm. If there's one thing I hate more than quarterly summaries, it's interviewing students, so I decided to
leave it to Mr Muscle. I squirted him all over the conference room on the second floor, left the bottle on the table and asked my Secretary, Miss Harris, to usher in the candidates when they arrived.
When I returned from the pub about four hours later, I was sure Mr Muscle would have at least prepared a short-list for a second interview," Mr Weller went on. "But had he? No. He was on the
table where I'd left him, had taken no notes whatsoever and all of the students had gone. I was furious!" continued Mr Weller.
Jon Ramsey of the Advertising Standards Commission said in a statement "Bob Weller is a nutter."
Mr Weller has been sacked by chartered accountants Firbridge, Kirby and Matthews and has a number complaints to the Advertising Standards Commission pending review, including one against Galaxy
Confectionery, claiming that he has yet to find romance with a female rabbit, despite eating forty Caramels in one day.
Anonymous 07/27/1999Categories: Slightly Smutty