The following is a 'horoscope' for business types rather than Birthdays
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having
to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing
which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least
compatible with Sales.
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree."
You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs
you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you
can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf
game throughout your life.
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content
to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often
even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell.
It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that
engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy with
yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets.
However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."
The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from
office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization;
combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors
concerning you say that you are completely insane.
6) HUMAN RESOURCES
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be
the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person
that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls
today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a
7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT
Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at
your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single
decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can
schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as
everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."
8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT
(See above - Same sign, different title)
9) CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your
own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little
cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer
Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to
sleep with your manager.
Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your
utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills"
are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other
organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating
these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.
11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER"
As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people who
actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and susceptible
to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly
with fluctuations in the stock market.
12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO
You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems
such as the fax machine suggest the latter.
13) GOVERNMENT WORKER
Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the
invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or
anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus the term
Anonymous 04/23/2001Categories: Slightly Smutty