It's not funny

Best News Headlines of 2006

"Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says." - No, really?

"Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers." - That'll stop em.

"Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?" - Not if I wipe thoroughly.

"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over." - What a guy!

"Miners Refuse to Work After Death." - Good for nothing so and sos!

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant." - See if that works any better than a fair trial.

"War Dims Hope For Peace." - Well I can see where it may have that effect.

"If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While." - You think?

"Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures." - Who would have thought?

"Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide." - They may be on to something here.

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges." - You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

"Man Struck By Lightning; Faces Battery Charge." - He probably is the battery charge

"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larget Test Group." - Weren't they fat enough?

"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft." - That's what he gets for eating those beans!

"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks." - Taste like chicken?

"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half." - Chainsaw Massacre all over again?

"Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors." - Boy, are they tall?

"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead." - Says it all, really.

John Chapman 01/15/2007Categories: Clean, Brilliant

Jade Cat Ltd.